Camera
Description
This Canon AE-1(c. 1980) has seen better days. Screws have been replaced when missing, the light
meter battery covering has broken off, the internal elements are a bit dirty and could use some love. In
its time, this was one of the best selling cameras on the prosumer market — for a number of reasons. It
has become my go to 35slr when I don’t care to lug around my larger medium format camera, but also
it’s just fun to shoot on.
However, I am not the original owner. This camera belonged to my uncle Bill, my Dad’s brother. Like
myself, Bill decided to move away from home. He studied at the School of the Art Institute, and bias
aside, was a phenomenal artist. In addition to photography and woodworking, he was a very talented
painter. From water colors to hyperrealistic landscapes, he crafted many beautiful works in his home
studio.
Though I don’t know as much as I should about his life outside of family events, holidays, the few
infrequent visits and times we’ve stayed with him, I do know he worked hard to pursue his real passions.
It wasn’t until his death, and the cleaning up of his & his wife Lori’s house, that I really had a chance to
explore his personal spaces and see many of his prized possessions. He traveled as much as he could;
many of his painted landscapes were carbonized from reference images he would shoot on his
excursions. He took on a number of jobs, but was a mover for a number of years. As an older man, this
certainly took a tole on his body.
The unexpected loss of my uncle forever changed my family. I can’t say my Dad has ever been the
same. I won’t soon forget the morning I awoke to the news of his passing. —The pain & sadness, and
then the anxiety of having to call my father who was already on the road with my Grandmother to
Chicago, to see him. I feel for her as well; no parent should ever have to live through the loss of a child.
While certainly beautiful, and filled with love, his visitation was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to
attend.
I am back and forth as to whether I should retire the use of this camera. The fear of losing or breaking it,
is with me every time I take it out. But I believe he would prefer it to remain in use. And it still works as it
should. Bill left the camera with an unfinished roll still inside. I’ve since developed them and have them
safely archived. There is a grief that accompanies this possession unlike most other things I’ve acquired
from my late grandmother & grandfathers, or any family for the matter. Bill is the hardest loss I’ve had to
experience in my life. Only now do I wish I would have asked more questions, and spent more time with
him.
meter battery covering has broken off, the internal elements are a bit dirty and could use some love. In
its time, this was one of the best selling cameras on the prosumer market — for a number of reasons. It
has become my go to 35slr when I don’t care to lug around my larger medium format camera, but also
it’s just fun to shoot on.
However, I am not the original owner. This camera belonged to my uncle Bill, my Dad’s brother. Like
myself, Bill decided to move away from home. He studied at the School of the Art Institute, and bias
aside, was a phenomenal artist. In addition to photography and woodworking, he was a very talented
painter. From water colors to hyperrealistic landscapes, he crafted many beautiful works in his home
studio.
Though I don’t know as much as I should about his life outside of family events, holidays, the few
infrequent visits and times we’ve stayed with him, I do know he worked hard to pursue his real passions.
It wasn’t until his death, and the cleaning up of his & his wife Lori’s house, that I really had a chance to
explore his personal spaces and see many of his prized possessions. He traveled as much as he could;
many of his painted landscapes were carbonized from reference images he would shoot on his
excursions. He took on a number of jobs, but was a mover for a number of years. As an older man, this
certainly took a tole on his body.
The unexpected loss of my uncle forever changed my family. I can’t say my Dad has ever been the
same. I won’t soon forget the morning I awoke to the news of his passing. —The pain & sadness, and
then the anxiety of having to call my father who was already on the road with my Grandmother to
Chicago, to see him. I feel for her as well; no parent should ever have to live through the loss of a child.
While certainly beautiful, and filled with love, his visitation was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to
attend.
I am back and forth as to whether I should retire the use of this camera. The fear of losing or breaking it,
is with me every time I take it out. But I believe he would prefer it to remain in use. And it still works as it
should. Bill left the camera with an unfinished roll still inside. I’ve since developed them and have them
safely archived. There is a grief that accompanies this possession unlike most other things I’ve acquired
from my late grandmother & grandfathers, or any family for the matter. Bill is the hardest loss I’ve had to
experience in my life. Only now do I wish I would have asked more questions, and spent more time with
him.
Date
April 18, 2019
Title
Camera
Citation
“Camera,” The Grief Archive, accessed May 4, 2024, https://griefarchive.omeka.net/items/show/24.